In the technical sense of the word, I have ALWAYS been a smoker, but I didn’t actively start smoking until I was 18.

Like many have done in the past, Delorus Alderman started smoking at the age of 18.  It was part of the culture at that time.  There weren’t any laws banning smoking ANYWHERE.  There was a smoking “hole” at her school where all you needed was a note giving permission.  Her parents did it, her friends did it, and it was just something that was accepted.  Before long, she was smoking two packs a day without even blinking an eye.

She continued at this pace, until she heard the words come right out of her doctor’s mouth, “Quit now or die.” It was a simple, sobering statement after it was discovered that Delorus had congestive heart failure, and on January 2, 2010, Delorus began her difficult journey to quitting.

With help from HealthNet’s smoking cessation counselor, Stacey Chappell, Delorus has overcome many obstacles on her road to no smoking.  Stacey gave her many practical tips that she used to prepare herself and her family.  Delorus used NRT patches; however, she was unable to us Chantix due to other health issues.  “Stacey gave me my life back, and I try to tell her how amazing she is every time I talk to her.”

Delorus gained inspiration from her husband, Jerry, who quit smoking in 2002.  But with inspiration also came some resentment.  Jerry made it look easy, and this oftentimes discouraged Delorus. “He took a class, read a book, and just walked away from the cigarettes.  But, he was my biggest supporter, even when I wasn’t the happiest camper!” She had tried to quit several times in the past, but ended with no avail.  Now, she could not even tell people that she was trying to quit because she didn’t think she could be successful.

"Stacey gave me back my life..."

Blessed with a supportive husband and family, Delorus sought peer support from others who were going through the same thing.  She asked for support from her online “MomsLikeMe” group – all of whom rallied around her, using creative strategies and tough love to help her get through those hard months.  Her kids would bring her hard candy and gum. Her youngest daughter came up with a great idea – a jar for collecting cigarette money, a visualization of her success.  And Jerry was there, whispering words of encouragement and support along the way.  Her online group stuck with her, emailing with her at all hours of the day and the night.  Making herself accountable to these folks spring boarded Delorus to success.

As Delorus enters her first year without cigarettes in a very long time, challenges still remain.  Cravings are strong.  Family members and friends still smoke.  However, Delorus finds inspiration in a thought she had when reflecting on becoming a non-smoker – “My mom was 8 years older than I am now when she passed away from congestive heart failure.  She was a smoker; so, I felt like if I kept smoking, then I was bailing on my kids.”

You can help others and yourself to quit smoking.  Contact our tobacco cessation counselor or look up the health center location near you.

Add a comment below if you or a loved one has had a success story, and feel free to post any questions you have about our program!

Who is blamed for childhood abuse? – Adults/caretakers in that child’s life.
Who is blamed for addiction? – The individual who can’t help themselves.

But before you click away, what if I posed an answer that said we as a community and society can also be blamed for this?

In reading an article outlining an interview with Canadian physician and best-selling author Dr. Gabor Maté, it made me think about how policies and outreach can help create a better environment for children to live and develop.

Dr. Maté’s response to whether or not genetics is linked to behaviors and dysfunctions in humans is very intriguing.  In part, genetics HAS to play a role in tendencies, but Dr. Maté poses that if we place blame on genetics for behavior and dysfunction, then it takes people off the hook.

“Well, if people’s behaviors and dysfunctions are regulated, controlled and determined by genes, we don’t have to look at child welfare policies, we don’t have to look at the kind of support that we give to pregnant women, we don’t have to look at the kind of non-support that we give to families…” – Dr. Gabor Maté

If we are taken “off the hook” so to speak, then we don’t have to worry about not providing prenatal care for at-risk mothers or support services for young families on the brink of poverty.

Children who grow up in low-income families are more likely to be abused, more likely to be neglected, and more likely to end up as addicts.  The environment that a child grows up in creates the person that child will become, and parents in these situations are subject “not [to] bad parenting, [just] extremely stressed parenting”. And, this stress affects the child.

To read the full interview of Dr. Gabor Maté, click here.  To help directly, visit HealthNet’s website and learn about our Better Indy Babies Program, or donate directly to help a low-income family in Indianapolis create a better environment for their child.