The biggest thing for most children growing up is seeing their father in the house or just having them in their life. – Darvell Huffman

Darvell Huffman, a Social Worker at HealthNet Barrington Health & Dental Center says becoming a father “was the biggest joy of my life. My entire train of thought completely changed.” Preparing to be a dad can be scary, but HealthNet’s Best Father Program can help you prepare for fatherhood and the future.

This free program for fathers or expectant fathers (16 to 35) covers topics such as:

• Building/Improving Father/Child Relationships
• Parenting Skills and Child Development
• Co-parenting and Respecting Your Child’s Mother
• Healthy Relationship Building
• Manhood Development Sessions
• Healthy Sex Education
• Money Management/Credit Repair Education
• Employment Preparation
• Marketplace and Medicaid insurance sign up
• Social Service Referrals & Medical Care
• College Prep
• Counseling and much more.

Participants who complete the entire program will receive a $50 Wal-Mart gift card. Interview clothing and weekly transportation assistance is also provided.

Where: Northeast Health Center (Located inside the Avondale Meadows Health & Wellness Center – 3908 Meadows Drive, 46205, 2nd Floor)

Time: Classes are from 8:30 am – Noon, Fridays October 30 – December 18

Cost: Free

To register for the program or for more information, contact Cassandra Jones, Community Social Worker, at 317-957-2150 or Lauresa Garnett, Community Social Worker, at 317-957-2350.

Can you share a success you have had in working with fathers?

Recently, a father that I meet with moved his family into a new home in a safer neighborhood!  This is a guy with a violent past, a history of emotionally distant relationships, unemployment, and drug use.  I’ve had the privilege linking him to community resources, working on relationship and communication skills and being a constant support as he discovers what being a man means to him.  Contrary to popular belief, men are not emotionally brain dead! They are capable of engaging their children and they are capable of forming meaningful relationships with other men.

We often discuss the parallel process between the relationships between staff and parents, and parents and their children; do you notice that same parallel process in your personal familial experiences, especially working with fathers?

Fathers father the way they were fathered.  Today’s young fathers carry the weight of the generations before them.  While a father’s desire to nurture and care for his child may be instinctive, the knowledge of how to do so is not!  Without having experienced what it means to be loved by a father, many dads are in the dark about how to love like one.  One of the most profound realizations for many fathers is that they have a choice to break the generational curse of fatherlessness and raise their child to know the love of a father.  Part of my role often involves being a positive male voice that encourages and believes in what these individuals are capable of.

Have you found any pertinent resources for fathers in Indianapolis that you use often?

There are some excellent resources in Indianapolis that Home Visitors should be linking fathers to.  Fathers and Families is a terrific resource. Kids Voice, Inc. offers legal services for fathers.  Additionally, there is a newly formed Indiana Coalition on Fatherhood (ICOF) dedicated to facilitating collaborations between agencies and provide resources for fathers.

What role does a man play in the prevention of child abuse and neglect?

A committed father makes a world of difference.  The statistics are staggering; and they speak for themselves.

• 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes. (US Dept. Of Health/Census)
• 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes. (US Dept. Of Health/Census)
• 85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes. (Center for Disease Control)
• 80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes. (Justice & Behavior, Vol 14, p. 403-26)
• 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes. (National Principals Association Report)

In seeking to facilitate the best possible future for the families we serve, it is absolutely crucial that we focus on the father as part of the family.  All too often, dad is an afterthought.  In reality, an invested father many be one of the most significant catalysts for safety, health, and success in the life of a child.

As a part of Healthy Families Indiana, we recognize the importance of fatherhood, and deal closely with fatherless families. As a child abuse and neglect prevention program, we especially take notice of the effects of fatherless homes as it relates to child abuse. Compared to living with both parents, living in a single-parent home doubles the risk that a child will suffer physical, emotional, or educational neglect. The overall rate of child abuse and neglect in single-parent households is 27.3 children per 1,000, whereas the rate of overall maltreatment in two-parent households is 15.5 per 1,000. (U.S. Census/U.S. Department of Health)

In response to these statistics, we continue to recruit male home visitors. Alan Goffinski, our current male home visitor, has committed to finding new ways to focus our program for fathers, and “de-genderize” our approach. He challenges us to have a less female biased view on child abuse prevention. He is assisting us in increasing our overall knowledge on the unique challenges of fathers, and the specific barriers men face. It is very important to have more male home visitors; as a result, some women will experience their first positive male relationship. Fathers will have the opportunity to be culturally represented as a part of the program; which increases rapport building and establishing trusting relationships. Alan Goffinski agreed to be interviewed about his experiences so far with the Healthy Families Program:

What do you see as your mission/role as being the only male home visitor at Marion I, Healthy Families?

I view my role to be much the same as other Family Support Specialists.  We all are doing our best to connect to individual families in a significant and holistic way that allows us to be a positive force affecting their health and well-being physically, emotionally, and mentally. As a male FSS, I get the unique honor of connecting to many young men and walking with them into a new phase of life, fatherhood.  Fatherhood is still significantly under-appreciated and undervalued thing for many of the populations that we serve.  I get to be a positive voice and example in a culture that still has a lot to learn about supporting men and encouraging their involvement in the lives of their children.  Beyond that, I also get to serve as a voice among my peers, offering insight into how to best engage new fathers.  After all, the program is called “Healthy Families” not “Healthy Mom and Baby.”

What is the biggest barrier you face in being a male home visitor?

There are definitely some preconceived notions among the population we serve as to what their home visitor will be like.  Much of society thinks that raising children is a woman’s job!  For those in the program who are open to having a male caseworker, it usually turns out to be a very good thing for the family.

What do you find to be the greatest barrier for the fathers you serve?

I come across fathers time and time again that feel they are not able to adequately support their families because of legal problems.  I have met with fathers who have difficulty getting a job because of a felony resulting from a high school fight they were mixed up in a half decade ago. Many young men are not aware that there are legal resources available to them.  Additionally, connecting fathers with employers willing to hire individuals with felonies on their record is crucial.  Beyond all of that, it is important to remind dads that there is more to fatherhood than providing financially.  Most important is the realization that their children need parents that they can rely on and will be a consistent and positive presence in their lives.

What has been the biggest challenge you have experienced in working with fathers?

The biggest challenge working with fathers is how young men view themselves and their role as a father.  Young men have the odds stacked against them.  For starters, many young men are falling into a generational pattern of being emotionally and physically distant from their children.  We’ve all heard the phrase, “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”  The reality is, every day I meet with fathers who were never fathered.  Therefore, they have little idea how to be a good father. Try to think of the last time you saw a positive father figure in media.  The truth is, it is far easier to spot the bumbling, emotionally distant, pseudo-dad.  As a male caseworker, I find my biggest hurdle is convincing dads that it is a good thing to crawl around on the floor and baby talk with their child, to be emotionally invested, and to embrace what it really means to be a daddy!

For part two of Alan’s interview, check out the blog this Thursday!