The kids are finally back in school!  Have you noticed that your child/children seem to be more anxious or isolated or irritable since it is back to school time?  If so, take a few minutes to ask them why they feel this way.  Sometimes it is hard for kids to tell their parents how they are feeling, but their behaviors and demeanors can definitely tell you a lot.

Kids could be scared to return to a place where they feel they are being bullied, whether on the bus, in school, at lunch, in the classroom.  So take a few minutes to ask you kids if they are being bullied in school.  This is a huge problem in our society today that gets ignored by so many.   Ask your kids questions related to being bullied/harassed/picked on in school, and don’t limit it to just peers.  It is important to make sure they don’t feel their teachers or other adults are bullying them as well.  Bullying has tremendous effects on kids, their behaviors and emotions.  They could have difficulty paying attention and focusing, decreased self esteem, increased anxiety/fear, lack of motivation, irritability, refusing to do schoolwork, being defiant at school, not doing school work, the list goes on.  If you notice your child begins to exhibit some of the above behaviors, take a few minutes to ask them what is going on.

Do you notice that now your child has started school, he or she has started texting you more frequently and making some excuse or another for you to go pick them up?  Have you noticed they have started giving you more of a fight in the morning prior to going to school?  Do they tell you it is hard for them to breath around all those other kids?  If so, your child may be experiencing some social anxiety related to the crowded hallways and number of people in a small area.  Don’t tell your kids they are making excuses, rather listen to what they have to say.

If your kids are experiencing some of the above mentioned behaviors or others, don’t hesitate to contact your nearest HealthNet center to schedule an appointment with one of our behavioral health therapists.

October is National Bullying Prevention Month.  Bully is becoming a huge problem for kids in school as well as kids and adults on the internet.  According to kidshealth.org, 25 percent of public schools report bullying happens at school on a weekly basis!  In addition, 1 in 3 kids report being cyber-bullied and 1 in 6 adults report having experienced cyber-bullying.  This is a disturbing trend.

Bullying can be defined as any kind of intentional torment.  This includes physical, verbal, or emotional abuse.  Sadly, emotional pain inflicted by others can be difficult to forget and can cause lasting damage.  Unaddressed, a victim of bullying can develop low self-esteem and even suffer from depression.

So, what can we do about it?  As a parent, it’s excruciating to see your child hurt and, often, parents can feel as helpless as the child in knowing what to do about bullying.

First and foremost, don’t be afraid to talk to your kids.  Talk to them about bullying even if you don’t know that it is happening.  Education regarding what bullying is and what is means can be beneficial for children to help them know how what to do if they are bullied or if they witness bullying.  Let your children know that it’s okay to feel scared and embarrassed but that it’s important to tell a trusted adult.

Encourage children to try to ignore the bullying and walk away.  Alert them to get help from an adult.  Talking preemptively about managing anger can be helpful too.  As we all know, it’s hard to walk away sometimes!  Educating children on counting to 10 when angry or taking slow, deep breaths to compose oneself can be helpful in a crunch.

If you do suspect your child might be bullied, again, don’t be afraid to ask.  Listen in a non-judgmental way and validate their feelings.  Bullying can be shaming, so the child needs to feel safe as he is telling of this pain.  If your child doesn’t come right out and tell you, pay attention to changes in behavior.  Is he suddenly refusing to go to school?  Is he not sleeping at night?  Be aware but don’t jump to conclusions.  If you do discover your child is being bullied, model healthy behavior.  Don’t immediately try to address the situation yourself with the bully.  Take a breath and decide on a plan of action with your child.  Often, the best approach can be collaborating with the school.

Bullying can have long-lasting, devastating affects, but you can be helpful in talking and listening with your child as well as addressing the issue in an appropriate manner with the school.  With parents offering education and support, kids can learn to survive bullying and move forward to healthy, productive lives.

Have you had an experience with a bully? Comment below and let us know how you handled the situation.